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Are You Afraid Of Speaking Up?

SPEAKING UP SERIES

In this series I share honestly about something that’s affected me or I want to speak up about. A lot of us fear being punished if we speak up and it’s time for this to change and to regain our voices.

This post may challenge you. If that’s not your bag for today, why not sign up for the Self Care For Your Biz Finances Retreat instead?

 

Are You Afraid Of Speaking Up?

 

Hello,

I wanted to share this with you.

It’s not about money or tax returns.

It’s about why we don’t speak up, be visible – and why I was laughed at by 450 women.

I’m rather nervous at sharing this as it wasn’t planned. I was talking with my friend, business mindset mentor, Holly Worton about an event we’d both attended recently and she’d missed the response I’d made to the question:

 

What stops you being visible?

 

Lots of replies about fear of being disliked, nasty comments, what family will say, not being good enough.

 

I said ‘I’m afraid of being burnt by the mob’

 

I had to repeat it.

Laughter across the auditorium full of 450 women I liked and respected.

Funnily enough, the laughter didn’t bother me. It was nervous, like ‘did she REALLY say that?’ and everyone moved on like I hadn’t said anything.

 

Let’s Talk About The Fear

 

This isn’t about anyone’s reaction that day (and I know women who were there that day are reading this).

It’s about let’s talk about this fear, the fear that’s under fear of not being liked if you’re more visible (cause really, why does it matter?) and the more usual reasons we tell ourselves (my favourite is having paps follow me down the street or anyone from the town I grew up seeing what I do).

Let’s go deeper. Much deeper.

This fear of the mob.

Not the Mafia Mob.

The other one.

Mob as fear of the mob is in European cultural DNA. I’m not the only one.

People who like to blame, called the great unwashed masses, the working classes, the ones who threw a person in a pond and if they sank they were innocent, the ones who say no smoke without fire, the vibe of the red tops, the reason you don’t want to charge more than other people in your rural/pit/industrial town.

The reason most women don’t want to be in mainstream press.

The people who read the wall of shame and the reason you don’t read the comments in the press when you’re in it.

The ones who send death threats when women speak out.

The mob.

The ones who point at anyone not exactly like them and want them dead if things aren’t going well because they need someone to blame.

The ones who pointed fingers at women like us who aren’t submissive and called them witches.

That’s the mob.

You’ll have it in your DNA.

It’s when you can be killed for doing nothing. Just not being like them is enough to be killed.

So yes.

 

Speak Up And Risk It

 

And it happens today all the time, every second, in a non physically lethal way.

I had it every day at secondary school – and I kept my mouth shut!

I walked out of a cafe on holiday because the staff had ‘the look’. I told my coach and she knew what I meant before I had even finished the sentence.

It’s what it is all about. It’s not money or fear of growth or success or whatever surface reason we give it. It’s not that those reasons/excuses/beliefs aren’t real. It’s more ‘so what?’ – why would any of those things MATTER if there wasn’t a deeper darker underneath?

 

Speak Up Anyway

 

Speaking up and standing out means death by the mob in our genetic memory.

It’s just as bad now, only it’s emotional, psychological and monetary death.

If you think I’m exaggerating, look at any newspaper. There are plenty of examples of women who lose careers and have death threats or the more hidden consequences of mental health problems or lost opportunities.

So yes, the mob.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably heard the call.

The one to speak up. The one to stand up in your power.

We won’t be burnt physically, at least not in the countries most of us live in (because literally physically burning women still happens).

Emotional and psychological burning still happens every day – and that is why success matters for us and our businesses.

Monetary success.

Because there is one thing the world respects and that is financial power.

When women have that, who gives a flying fuck what the fuckers do or say?

Are you with me to act like that now?

To stand up, whatever the fuckers do or say?

They can’t really touch us now. The world is changing and it’s us who are doing the changing.

As I re-read this, I want to soften what I’ve said, calm it down – because holy shit, what if I’m actually called to stand by this?

I’m going to press publish anyway.

In the words of Boyzone:

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We’ll find our own way back

 

Are You In Your Power From This Moment?

 

Are You Going To Speak Up?

 

Commit to one action today and share with me what it is if you would like to.

If you feel called to step up and work with me, find out more.

I’m on Instagram and Facebook, or you can contact me or leave a comment.

Always with you,

Rosie x

SPEAKING UP SERIES

In this series I share honestly about something that’s affected me or I want to speak up about. A lot of us fear being punished if we speak up and it’s time for this to change and to regain our voices.

What do YOU want me to speak up about?

 

Support: The book that is spreading across the world, Burning Woman by Lucy Pearce is a life changer must buy, whether you devour it immediately or take support from it sitting on your shelf reminding you of your courage.

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